I have never been one to believe I have audibly heard the voice of God.  I have felt His Presence living within me. I have enjoyed “God Winks” as He communicates to me that there is no such thing as coincidence. I have discerned His Hand directing me to respond or act in a certain fashion which I believe was God-inspired.  But, I have never heard God’s Voice speak directly to me. Until last Sunday…

The morning’s Worship was incredible- the message, the music, the palpable love of God in the room. The teaching was from the life of Moses, specifically The Red Sea “situation.” The message was straightforward:

• Don’t be fearful.
• Don’t be forgetful. Remember God’s Faithfulness in your past.
• Be still.

That’s when I heard it:

“Be still, and let Me lead.”

The words were a sacred echo in my mind, refusing to leave my thoughts. “Be still, and let Me lead.”   When was the last time I had let Him lead?  I blushed.  I couldn’t remember. I am a “get your list together, accomplish the task, do your research” kind of girl. What does it look like?  What does it mean to lead and to follow?

According to Laura Riva’s, “Lead Vs. Follow: What Do the Roles Really Mean?”, The Lead and The Follow are opposite sides of the same coin that are essential for the perfect partner dance.  The Lead becomes the ‘picture frame,’ providing the space where the dance takes place.  The Lead is the Director, carefully orchestrating the dance and crafting a vision for the performance and a plan to get there.   He is the Navigator, paying close attention to detail and organizing the structure, spacing, pace, and timing.  A good Lead takes care of the Follow, ensuring that her movements bring beauty and purpose to the picture frame.  A good Lead is decisive and never asks the Follow to take over as the Director.

The Follow’s role is “to respond and interpret the signals of the Lead. The Follow has the luxury of giving herself completely to the flow of the dance with no worries about what comes next.  She is the Actress, partnering with the Lead, her Director,  to deliver an extraordinary performance.  A good Follow never sacrifices the partnership in order to fulfill her own solitary vision.

Why were these words- to lead and to follow- uppermost in my mind?

You see, last Thursday I stepped down from a position I have held for the past six years. The writing portion of my job was coming to a close. There would be work for me to do for anywhere from six weeks to six months, but it would mostly consist of  inputting data. My spirit had been telling me for a while now that a season was ending.  Yet, after I made the decision to step down, my feet slipped into ‘Pam mode.’ I began frantically planning my next move and experienced my very first panic attack: sweaty palms, racing heartbeat, swirling thoughts. I took over the role of the Director and began dancing at an awkward, uncomfortable pace.

That’s when I heard His Voice. “Be still, and let Me lead.” So, I am handing Him the picture frame and surrendering to His structure, spacing, pace, and timing. This leaves me free.  Free to listen, Available to be cast in a new role, Open to His direction. My Heavenly Father is taking my hand. I can finally hear the music, and it is breathtaking.

“Be still, and know that I am God…”

-Psalm 46:10