Face Down. A phrase that can be interpreted so many ways.  One might fall face down to the ground- ouch.   You might be asked to turn your cards ‘face down’ during a heated game of poker- well, okay I don’t know how to play poker- so insert ‘UNO’ here instead. When proctoring a test, every teacher worth his or her grain of salt usually begins with the ominous instruction, “Leave your paper ‘face down,’ until I ask you to turn it over.”  That one makes me feel a bit queasy.

The official definition of ‘face down’ from the Free Dictionary reads:

1. To position something so that its front surface is oriented downward.
2. To confront someone or something in a resolute or determined manner.

Recently, I experienced an afternoon that began with the simple yet oh so complicated direction: “Untie your gown and lie ‘face down.’ Place your breasts in the spaces and rest your forehead as if you were getting a massage.”  Trust me, this machine doesn’t look like any piece of equipment I have ever encountered when getting a massage. I had entered “The Magnet Room,” the room for MRIs. It has been 3 years- yay-three years ladies and gentlemen- since my bilateral mastectomy and reconstruction. Time to check the integrity of my ‘girls.’ The technician asked me if I would like music in my headphones. After settling on 104.9, she handed me a cute little squeeze ball in case – the technician’s words now: “In case you can’t make it through.  Squeeze it and I’ll come back in the room and we’ll stop.” One last instruction: “Stretch your arms out in front of you.”

And so I comply. I am ‘face down.’ We begin with 20 minutes of pictures with no movement. Complete stillness- arms outstretched. The clanging comes and goes- growing in volume as the minutes tick by. As the clanging ebbs and flows, I can hear the lyrics of a contemporary Christian song. I focus on the words and my breath. In through my nose, out through my nose. Yoga actually comes in handy. I strain to hear the lyrics at times. My mind embraces the thought that this MRI is a metaphor for Life.  The world, everyday stressors, our own agendas become the clanging din that threatens to drown out the beautiful symphony of Jesus’ voice calling to us- beckoning us to just be still with Him. Just Be.

I make it through the first 20 minutes. Next, my technician injects the dye into my IV. It is a cool sensation running down my arm. My arms that are outstretched and oh so still. Our last 15 minutes will be a barrage of pictures taken with the contrast dye in place. Lying ‘face down,’ I land on the analogy of facing down my fear- confronting the Big ‘C’ in a resolute, determined manner. Just like the Free Dictionary says.

The 15 minutes end. I made it!  I did not need to squeeze that ‘just in case ball.’ I grin to myself. The technician helps me out and like a nurturing mother makes sure my gown is tied and my dignity intact. As I head back to the dressing room, my spirit messages my mind that yes- I was ‘face down.’ I was positioned so that my front surface was oriented downward. I confronted the Big ‘C’- looked him square in the eye and did not need to look away.

I rub my arms- they’re a bit stiff from remaining outstretched for so long. My soul ponders those arms. My arms outstretched in total surrender, my body lying ‘face down.’ Before my God- completely surrendered. Trusting Him, Yielding to Him, Surrendering to Him. ‘Face down’ and yet my soul stands. Thank you Jesus.

Job 11:13-15

Surrender Your Heart to God