There’s no delicate way to put this. I have to pee. Constantly. Yesterday, I peed every 30 to 40 minutes at work. And 2-3 times in the middle of the night.  No, I have not increased my fluid intake to some freakish amount.

This week I experienced pressure and a sense of fullness and I thought I’d better check it out. So I made my way to my gynecologist’s office and thought about how I couldn’t wait to give her a urine sample. The drive over had inspired my bladder yet again. The nurse in the exam room took my blood pressure and handed me my prize- the cup in which I would deposit my dignity.

I walked to the restroom, closed the door behind me, and set my cup carefully on the counter. This may be ‘TMI,’ but I proceeded to pee in the toilet, not even attempting to position the cup under where…. well, you know, where it needed to be.

I finished peeing, at first feeling relieved and then appalled. The speech bubble in my head read, “Oh my gosh- I forgot to pee IN the cup!”  Next, there is incessant knocking on the bathroom door. There is only one restroom in my doctor’s office- REALLY?!- and another lady needed to go. I answered “just a minute.”   I considered yelling it but I wanted to at least pretend to be nice.

My speech bubble now reads, “Maybe if I just sit here for a few minutes, I’ll be able to get a few drops out.” So I sit there and wait and wait and wait. Meanwhile, said lady keeps knocking. Abandoning all niceties, I tersely responded: “Just a MINUTE!!!”

I managed to get a few drops into my cup, get myself together, and opened the door. There stands a pretty ‘young thing’ with a baby in a carrier. And my very menopausal self thinks, “There’s no way she had to pee that bad. Look at her- she’s half my age.”

My doc arrived on the scene and she shared with me that she’s going to do some “odd things” during the exam. Oh my… this day just keeps getting better. After the exam, I’m relieved to hear that she didn’t feel any mass on my ovaries. I was due to have  an ultrasound of my ovaries next month,  so we’ll move it up for ‘peace of mind.’

She then reassured me that most likely I do not have bladder cancer, ovarian cancer, or even a UTI. No, it seems that Tamoxifen- thank you breast cancer- is really working overtime blocking my estrogen.  Since my estrogen is in desperate need of CPR, my bladder is telling my brain “Hey, time to pee.”  Geesh- couldn’t my bladder have also told my brain where to put the cup a few minutes ago?!

My doc shared with me that I have “minimal uterine prolapse.” She must have seen the look on my face.  “Don’t worry,” she said- your uterus is not going to fall out of your vagina.” I began laughing hysterically and answered, “Now that would make for a very bad weekend!”  Then guess what- the doctor looked at me, began laughing, and said now she had to pee too.  The silver lining here- she is 10 years younger than me. 😉

Estrogen is my nemesis.