Time can be measured in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, and years.  We note the passage of time as we gaze in the mirror at our laugh lines and our crow’s feet. There is also a movement – a quickening- in our spirit, our heart, our soul. Sometimes the movement is nothing more than a slight shift in our energy; other times it is a breaking free, a shattering of a stronghold that is almost seismic in its proportions.

When the movement is intense, it is nothing short of a floodgate opening.  Google defines a floodgate as: a last restraint holding back an outpouring of something powerful or substantial.  It has been four years since my breast cancer diagnosis and the floodgate has finally opened.  Four years… 208 weeks.  1,460 days.  35,040 hours. 2,102,400 minutes.  126,144,000 seconds.

A closer inspection of the floodgate brings a sense of calm and peace.  Everything is different now.  Moments slow down. The people I love stir my heart faster. My breath seems slower, more relaxed.  Joy covers my thought life more completely and Fear has to stand in the back of the room- away from my Todays.  Jesus beckons me to look a bit closer. I smile as I take in the outpouring of “my something powerful and substantial.”  It is Him. My God gives me confidence when my steps are shaky.  He takes my hand, turns me in the right direction, and nudges me forward. My heart feels the connection and is in awe of the transformation. I skip ahead, hoping to gather all the sweet moments together and savor them. This season feels…. new. It feels good and exciting and unbelievable all at once.

“Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy.”    Psalm 103: 2 – 4