I remember the moment I felt it.  It had been quite a while.  It crept in slowly- taking me by surprise.  I hadn’t seen it for a while – at first I wasn’t quite sure what it was.  Then I remembered what it felt like.  And I smiled…

I was walking around our neighborhood.  It was fall- about 3 months after my surgery.  The sun was out and there was a light breeze.  I didn’t need a jacket.  My walk was going well.  I felt…  good, “normal,” but something else.  What had been missing for so long- the feeling that had eluded my spirit was simple- yet oh so complicated.  It was Joy…     Joy to feel my breath, joy to just be moving, joy to be healing, joy to be here in this moment.

I laughed to myself as I reveled in my old friend- Joy- it was back.  I wanted to grasp it tightly, wrap it up, and make sure it stuck around in case Fear tried to kidnap it.  Joy- it cannot be stolen, it can not be diluted by pain, it can not be overwhelmed by breast cancer. JOY…. Welcome back my friend.

From my Journal:

Song of Joy

Your kindness and mercy for me overflow.

You come in the night and lay your Hand upon my heart.

You bring me a smile when Fear creeps in,

You send your angels to plant a hedge around my mind.

You take hold of my right hand,

and fill me with Your Presence.

You shelter me,

You ARE my strong tower.